My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
