i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
