I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
