...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
