just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
