on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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