Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There r osticjed everywhere
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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