bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
