i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
