This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
