who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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