i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
