Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
