guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize