when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
