Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
