What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
