I think scott just propositioned me for sex
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
