ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
