I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
