Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
