I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
