I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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