i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
