it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
