I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
