closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
wow bdsm is so cute
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