how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
