Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
