I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize