they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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