Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
