I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
