You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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