She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
