question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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