covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We have started to decorate penises.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
