Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
