Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
