ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
