I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
did you just send me my own nude
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
