Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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