you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
