So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
