I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
