Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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