Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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