So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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