Just fell off a train. Bad.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
