you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize