I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
