The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
