More tranny stories later!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize