when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize