WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
