Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
