oh god the rape fog is back!
Say something about gay babies.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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