Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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