Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
